Stepped in it

Ya'll the saga continues.

Yesterday I carried Mel's Momma over to the Senior Citizen Center for their buffet lunch that they have on Tuesdays. She dearly loves to go visit with all her friends who are all older than God on Tuesdays while they eat the awfullest array of old people food you ever did see. I try to go with her once in a while if I can. So I dressed my little Shelby up in her little yellow gingham and off we went to town. Mel's Momma is meaner than a snake and she hates me. She had Mel when she was closer to forty than she was to being a blushing bride and he is her pet. You woulda thought the earth had opened up and swallowed her whole they way she cried and carried on when we told her we were getting hitched. Mel's Daddy died about ten years ago so she has made a whole social network of friends and is just rarin' to go nearly all the time. But I think she's slipping a little bit, if you know what I mean. Mel won't hear a word of it, but for one thing she calls me Martha about half the time and has taken a fondness to me. You know if Mel's Momma calls me anything but "that wife of yours" then something is wrong. Plus yesterday when I dropped her off at her house and walked her up the front steps I heard something rattling around in her purse and damned if she didn't take home her set of silverware from the Senior Citizens Center. Something is going to have to be done.

But that's neither here nor there because the saga of Vi and Danny continues, ya'll. As I was driving home from dropping Mel's Momma off an ambulance passed me and that always gets my heart to pumpin'. As I passed Danny and Vi's place I see her strapped to a stretcher just a hollerin' and waving her arms. I immediately pulled in and Lawdy if she don't beat all I've ever seen. Here's what happened.

You'll remember my story this weekend about her digging for her keys in the backyard? Well, her story says she was outside hanging out her wash when my old tom, Walter, scutted by her chasing a squirrel. She whirled around with her laundry basket and stepped right in one of them holes she had dug lookin' for her keys and broke her ankle. She limped in the house and had her boy call 911 and then took the phone from him to call his Daddy to tell him that his blaspheming the Lord by preventing her the right to worship had caused this thing to happen. I guess Danny musta drove like a bat outta hell because he beat the ambulance there and when I pulled in he was standing by her side clutching her purse looking real somber and ashamed and like he'd rather be anywhere but there right then. Vi was carrying on so, I thought she'd have a heart attack hollerin' about turning off her stove and shutting the back door and having Silas (their boy) finish his science project before he even thought about going outside that evening. The ambulance people looked at me like was there anything I could do to shut her up and I just shook my head at them.

I swear if it's not one thing its another.